Cricket Mud

In its continued state of denial about the lack of popularity of Test cricket, the ICC is now considering day night Test matches.

We've learned that following this test, it will also try mandatory pink-colored bats to attract the largely-jobless 8-12 age group girls.

And when that fails, it will consider renaming Test cricket to Strip Cricket. Who wouldn't come to watch the likes of Mendis and Jesse Ryder play in their chaddi? Now there, the ICC might finally be onto something!

But if I'm the ICC, I'd hurry! Uncle Modi is already trying to one-up the ICC by replacing stupid-ass cheerleaders with professional strippers.

Beat that, ICC.

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Jesse Ryder.

Apparently the Royal Challenger flop was involved in an off-field incident. He had to be restrained by security guards.

While an "off-field" incident can mean many things, Ryder's past gives us plenty of clues. He had publicly struggled with alcohol before making it to the New Zealand team. And when he went sober for 100 days, it was almost as big of a news as Symonds farting...at least going by what his mentor has to say:

Jesse's had over a hundred days of sobriety and has made enormous progress during that time, on and off the field. Now for that to continue he needs support and moves have already been made to assist him to get back on top.

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And what did he find?

I see the commercial use of cricket for business gains that is going on. I am concerned about the latest venture of encouraging viewers to make ball-by-ball predictions of runs scored for economic gain in the shape of cash prizes. This is viewed as openly encouraging gambling and betting which official bodies do not resort to, even in countries --Manohar Singh Gill

No shit homie! Cricket is being used for "business gains"?! I mean, geez, how was I supposed to know that?

But Gill does have a somewhat fair point about the IPL's sms game. Basically you can sms the prediction of how many runs will be scored on each ball in the next over. BCCI makes money because each attempt costs you a premium SMS cost of five rupees.

Is this gambling? And betting? Me thinks Mr. Gill has never been to Vegas. Nor has he heard of such a thing as a "contest."

Tip: Apparently, guessing a maiden over has the best chances of winning.

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During the Royals game on the 7th, Sir Warnie found himself on the boundary line. Sipping Beer. While fielding.

While we fully celebrate Shane Warne style of cricket, you gotta wonder: what the fuck was he thinking?

Or may be he knew exactly what he was thinking: this can't be any worse than cheating on my wife. And then getting my ass kicked by her.

To those in the media arguing that Warne is a role model blah-blah-blah, we agree! Warne is indeed a role model of a fun cricketing legend. It is a welcome break from the stuck-up douchebags like...shall we say...Andrew Symonds.

What do you think Symonds would have done if a fan offered him a drink?

(A) Dump it back on the fan

(B) Whack the fan's face with his dinosaur arms

(C) Get drunk,flip over the hoardings at the boundary line, and fall in a ditch

(D) All of the above

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